Struggling

Perpetually, it seems. I’ve had a rough few days. Started getting a little productive yesterday, but not much. My cousin gave me his friends’ numbers, in case I’m ever down there & have any problems. So, they’ve been texting me a bit. The one that keep making out with me lol…I dunno. I like him a whole lot, as a person; I just don’t want any sort of intimate relationship with him, outside of friendship. He was texting me during his lunch yesterday. Said he worked 6a-3p at one job, & was in the middle of 4p-2a at the other job. The man’s a millionaire, yet he’s working 17 hours a day?!? “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”. How are you not dead already?!? Lol, jesus!!! He just likes to keep busy, I guess.

So, I’ve spent some time in bed. Not much to write about. Went to the psych eval doctor yesterday. Don’t see much point; I don’t like him very much, but I don’t hate him either. I haven’t talked to ex very much since I mentioned last. I guess I kinda feel the same way about him as I do that doctor, lol. I don’t think we’ll ever get back together, & I don’t think either of us really cares at this point. What a shame. What a waste.

Don’t know what to do with myself today. Since it’s the solstice, I wanted to do some things for that, but I really don’t feel like even going outside. I don’t know what to do. I could do some yardwork, but I really don’t want to. I could do some hoard cleaning. I could work on my to do lists. I could do a lot of things. But I kinda just wanna go back to bed…..

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