Nothing’s really changed since I got some sleep…

…just a bit less devastated. I’m sure that’ll be back to haunt me tonight. And probably when I wake up hungover after 4 hours sleep tomorrow. Rough times. Heh. The “worthless piece of shit” phrase is a big one that haunts me. I don’t know where it comes from, or why I would be so needlessly mean to myself. Too much loss? To a point where I assume I’m worthless, since people seem to cast me aside. Like ex, & like “old friend”… Ok, now I’m depressing myself…haha… See? Sleep isn’t the issue, lol. Ugh.

I gotta make some rice & divide up my cacciatore. And get ready to go camping. I’m glad I postponed a drive with the ex; I’d be way too exhausted for tonight. I think he’s out of school now. Or just about. So…I wanted to talk about us, & everything that’s happened. I wanted to do that even before he left. But now I don’t know what I want, or what I want to say, or ask. Ugh, my anxiety’s building. It’s gonna be a brutal week…..

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