anxiety building…

I’ve really been teetering today. Decided to call my father’s doctor back as my call for the day. He has to go in for more bloodwork in about a month, & a follow up appointment. Got a voicemail from the tax lady, who said I made her day with the thank you card I sent, hehe. Cleaned in the attic a bit. Noticed some water leaking in the roof. Very little; still concerning. Asked (ex)Hubby to come over & move a couple heavy things for me after class, which he did. He left with a parting gift – tuna salad & a couple frozen pork chops cuz he has no protein besides canned tuna & maybe ground turkey. Awkward. My anxiety was starting to freak a couple times. But I think I kept my cool, lol. Cleaned in my father’s closet for a bit, & washed his bed stuff. Vacuumed, & washed out the cats’ litterbox. The old friend/coworker I ran into yesterday invited me over after he gets out of work to celebrate the holiday. I’m trying to keep my anxiety under control. Which is gonna be quite a challenge while I’m actually over there, heh. I should probably meditate some more or something. I seriously haven’t hung out with anyone without (ex)Hubby around in…over 2 years, I think. At least I know him well enough to not have to worry about getting raped or anything LOL. I know I’ll survive, & this will be good for me, & I’m not even thinking about canceling, but…my anxiety is such a cunt. If I didn’t have to drive, I’d consider taking that lil piece of Xanax, heh. Maybe I’ll ask if he wants me to pick up a 6 pack or something, haha.

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