4/20

Happy holiday! LOL I think I’m gonna start smoking soon. And maybe take a nap later. But I should probably sort out what I’m doing today first. lol. I gotta make a call. I always panic when I have to call anyone. I know it’s not a big deal, but I can’t help it. Before & during, I’m just freaking out. Mentally. I can visibly keep my shit together…usually lol.

I contacted one of my old coworkers yesterday evening to see if she’d be willing / able to come help my father in & out of the shower once in a while. She said we may be able to work something out. She knows I’ve had a lot on my shoulders. So, I gave her my number. Hopefully she doesn’t flake out on me, though I don’t think she will. Who knows? Nobody til it happens or doesn’t, heh.

My intestines are pretty cranky today. But they haven’t sapped my energy…yet. I pigged out a bit last night- leftover “nachos”, tuna salad, berries, & candy. Hehe. Really, it doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, I always feel like hell in the morning. Lame.

My only plan for the day is to make one call. One out of my list of 4-5 calls I need to make. I think my intestines just tied themselves in a knot, heh. Other than that, I might try to work on the attic a bit, & do some of my other “power projects”. Though I have some random stuff I also need to do… Fuck! My head always starts spinning whenever I try to pick something to do. There’s WAY too much to pick from. It drains the life out of me. I literally just stared at a corner of the window for a solid couple minutes. I don’t even think I was thinking about anything. And no, I didn’t smoke, lol. I wanna go back to bed. I woke up after about 7 hours, & couldn’t really fall back asleep. Just rolled around, drifting in & out for almost an hour before my tummy made me get up heh. Ugh. Want more bed. Must get in gear…

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