Online stuff…

MBTI test results : INFJ type

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence – That’s, like, 75% me…..& I’ve known it a long time, just didn’t know what to do with it…..Some of that sounds like (ex)Hubby too….. Though, isn’t most of this a result of depression? Or, maybe rather, entwined in it? And a lot of that sounds like most people, heh. Codependency mostly refers to looking outside of self for needs to be met, in this sense. (I’m reading this article, which referred to the above one : “How to Be ‘Needy’ without Being Codependent“.) She also mentions “The Work” by Byron Katie, which looks like a pretty complex exercise designed to help shift negative thoughts; seems like an (over?)simplified version of CBT. Which I tried experimenting with once on my own, & got aggravated over how tedious it was lol. But, I can’t do much else when I’m depressed anyway, so…maybe I’ll print out the worksheets lol. “I just needed someone to hold safe space for me so I could calm my nervous system enough to take care of myself.” (Lissa) That’s what I need. I couldn’t really do that for (ex)Hubby when this nightmare first started, when he was trying to talk to me about his guilt & stuff. I wasn’t trying to minimize his feelings, or offer undue advice…I just didn’t understand how affected he was by what he was going through, & found myself scared that he would leave to the point where I couldn’t feel safe in my own skin. “I cried while the Great Arms of Love that live inside of me held the hurt little girl who had her Daddy wound triggered.” (Lissa) Well, that made me cry.

……….

Well…I left this post for a while, to cook. Made “nachos” (taco meat over tortilla chips w/ lettuce, & salsa…& half salt added to my seasoning! lol), & a tuna salad. At least there’s something to munch on. I have pork chops in the fridge; I gotta make ’em soon. I’m tired, & I can’t really focus enough on the articles I was reading, so I’ll have to save the rest for tomorrow…

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