Alone, as I should be.

Oh, there’s the depression I was expecting. I tried to avoid it. Did the dishes, gave my father his pills & stuff, took the garbage down, finished raking the leaves, & started my laundry. I went downhill in the process. Still crashing, I think. I have no solace; no shoulder to cry on. As it should be. Why? My depression is too deep & my mind is too full. For anyone. Even someone with whom we spent over a decade by each other’s side. No more family through him, & no more family get togethers. He gave me my engagement ring on XMas, to make it a better holiday for me; now it’s double ruined. “You have my family now” he said, years ago. Though, I never really did. I keep people at such a distance cuz I’m so sick of this pain. I’m so sick of losing people. I’m sick over it, period. I can’t hardly function like I need to…

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