disappointment

Ugh. I’m trying to not let my disappointment blossom into depression. I think I’m almost due for another wave of sadness, I just wasn’t expecting it yet. I was expecting to spend some time away. But my cousin got called in to work. So, no camping. “I knew that was gonna happen!” he said. Wish ya would’ve warned me that it was a possibility, haha. I kinda figured, since they gave him the past 2 days off, but he didn’t say anything. Oosh. I was all excited; got up early & everything. Lame. He invited me to his brother’s for dinner with them, their mom, & his brother’s wife & kids. He said there would be cake, so I assume it’s one of the kids birthday. I told him I don’t feel comfortable around a bunch of people, especially right now. He said “honey, it’s family”, which is what he always used to say. Yeah, estranged family. I just told him “anxiety doesn’t discriminate”, lol. He said he’ll make it up to me next weekend. I’ll be looking forward to it, but I obviously can’t get my hopes up.

Ugh. Now I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself today. I didn’t plan anything, expecting to already have plans. Fuck. It’s really nice out. My phone says 71*, & we might not get rain til this evening. Maybe I’ll work on the yard / garage a bit. After (ex)Hubby comes over. Oh yeah, he’s stopping by shortly. I saved him some of the curry I made as a thank you for helping with things while I went camping. No camping, but he still gets his curry, haha. He’s going to his mom’s after, so I’m gonna give him my freezer portion for her; last time I saw her, she was saying she really liked curry, & I wanted to come over…..

ETA : Well, he was over for about an hour & a half. We caught up a little bit, & watched bits & pieces of Border Town (which is actually pretty funny a few episodes in). When he left, he said he wanted to give me a hug but didn’t want to cause any problems. So, we hugged. It was a fairly long one considering, lol.

So, I guess I’m gonna finish the dishes & start working outside…

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