An overwhelmingly productive day

but at least I had help. So, my aunt came over at 11; I made us some coffee, & we spent a couple hours trying to sort some things out, while also catching up about family. I have to try to call someone Monday, & I have to get Power of Attorney taken care of in order to figure out the mortgage. We inquired about a letter I got a while ago from what might’ve been my mother’s 401k, just to make sure it was claimed & ask why they’re sending a letter so long after her passing; it requires research, so we’ll hear back from them next week. Took my father to the doctor.. I have to find a podiatrist for his toe. An aide should be calling to start coming to help him in & out of the shower…though I think I might rather ask my old coworker at the hospital. I dunno. And a handicap sticker authorization will be in the mail. My aunt practically stood over his shoulder the whole time, so he was a little more vibrant than usual lol; she said “he talks to himself a lot”. Yeahh, haha. Then we got his blood test done before we left. Stopped by Arby’s, then the pharmacy to pick up his prescriptions, then the bank to try to avoid having to call SSA Monday. Came home, ate, & we hung out for another hour or so so she could avoid rush hour, haha. I spent a couple hours with my mind spinning, trying to organize everything I have to do now. Well, not right now, but now that I’ve already done this stuff, heh. It just never ends. At least I’ve been too busy to be depressed. And at least (ex)Hubby talked to me quite a bit, like friends. It was nice. My aunt said (though I didn’t mention “the agreement” aspect of things…lol), it sounds like we just need a break. As a couple. Just to breathe & get our heads straight. She insists he still loves me. I know she’s right, lol. She disagrees with me when I say “but he’s not in love with me anymore”. Cuz, really, being “in love” evolves with time, & requires different efforts in different ways. Cuz…life. There’s always hope if you’re willing I guess, LOL. Ugh. He does still love me though…he offered to come over & take care of whatever if I go camping with my cousin this weekend, lol! He really is an angel. A little bit of an asshole, but still my favorite asshole lol.

So, yeah, my mind keeps racing. I’ve had waaaay too much trouble focusing on anything lately. All over the place. Therapy. “Old friend”… I wanna go to a concert in June. I don’t have anyone to go with, so I’ll need to buy some mace LOL. “Old friend” introduced me to this band, which I grew to like a whole lot. I’ve always wanted to see them live, but never really had the chance to. But now…fuck it. I might see “old friend” there, I might not. That’s not really why I wanna go. But I kinda really hope he is, even though I…don’t know… I don’t know if I should be talking to him with all this shit going on. Granted, it’s a couple months away. And hopefully, I’ll have my shit together a lot more by then lol. But still. He scares me, cuz he gets mad & disappears. He’s kinda worth the pointless heartache, but it hurts pretty bad, heh. Then again, I don’t even know what he’d do if he saw me. I don’t think he’d get pissed, but maybe he would; maybe he’d be happy. Who knows? Fuck it. lol!

Anyway… I think I’m gonna make curry tomorrow afternoon. I should finish the dishes. And eat some sushi. And try to fucking relax… GOD, everything takes me forever!!!


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