Well, I had a pretty productive evening. Put tax stuff away, copied all my receipt totals onto my computer, reviewed my therapist info, did my father’s bills, organized a bunch of my important documents, did some dishes. My racing heart didn’t calm down at all until about 9pm. Or later. For whatever reason. Almost 12 hours of that shit. Talked to (ex)Hubby, as friends, for a little while. No relationship talk this time. I have to try to make sure I’m in decent shape when he comes over tomorrow. As in…not a hysterical mess, heh. I feel ok since…mostly since I got home from the tax place. Was still panicky though, heh. Anyway… Didn’t eat much today. Only had a few small bites of a cup noodle this morning, & then a hot pocket & an orange at like 10pm. :/ Just couldn’t do it. But I haven’t lost too much weight. I don’t think I look very healthy lol, but I’m not dyin’ or anything, haha. I’m pretty tired by now though. And my mind’s doing its usual spinny thing; I can’t concentrate on anything. I hardly could earlier when I was doing all that stuff…which is why it took me, like, 5 hours. I haven’t needed sleepy pills in at least a few days…though I still can’t stay asleep through the night. …..I am so fucking distracted. By everything, right now. As usual. Mind spinning. I gotta try to wind down & watch some tv…

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