Why. The. Fuck.

Just made my father & myself some chicken breasts. I’m eating a half of one right now.

I think there’s a bird dying in the attic or something. Well, I don’t know for sure if it’s dying, cuz I’m terrified I’ll open the door & he’ll be flying around the house. But I heard some scraping a couple times on the door. I thought it was one of the cats, but it wasn’t. They’re all downstairs. One of them is staring at the bottom of the door, so I assume it’s laying there. I don’t hear anything though. I can’t open the door, even if it’s dead. Especially if it’s dead. I can’t fucking handle it. I wanna ask ex Hubby to come over & help me with it, but I can’t. He’s not ready.

Why is all this shit happening?! What the fuck!!!

I miss him so fucking much. I just can’t believe he’s gone. I can’t believe this happened, out of nowhere. This chicken is dry as fuck…..

ETA : It’s still scratching at the door. One thing after another with my life. It’s freaking me out so bad that I did end up emailing him, asking what I should do… Probably a mistake, but I don’t know what to do!!!

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